| | no matter how i try to explain to you, WHY we cannot be, nothing seems to allow you to see, what i'm trying to do.We just want different things in life, and i hold on to my pass fears alil too much to take that risk with you. selfish, but once bitten twice shy. furthermore, your actions never consoled those fears, and i never mentioned it because i do not want to rob you of your youth if u so decided to work it my way. the so very mistake i made the first time around.
Would it be fair to say that i have more time to lose then you do? i want stability, but im a magnet for disaster. if perhaps you allow me 1 hour of your time, to explain to you in detail my fears, my wants and my life, perhaps in hope with an open mind and for ONCE believe me when i say, that i know better on this. i do hope u will then understand why we cannot be.
you can tell alot about a person by who they are friends with, and how their friends behave. im not dissing your friends, but they are are working towards is not what i would like to be caught in. look at my closest friends? how i wish i had that for my own. i was always the young kid with the overly matured thinking (but acting like a child mostly) but always on their wavelenght, that has always set me apart from my peers.
but im crushed that im no where close where i want to be.
you will pull thru, it hurts like mad now because u never gave your heart away before. but believe you me, that u will learn and get over it. and perhaps in future you will eventually understand why this cannot happen. cliche, but sometimes the cliches are the truth.
it doesnt excuse me from being an ass or a bastard. but i've told you many times, repeatedly how im not strong enough to stop whatever i've done, its not an excuse, nor is it to make my sound innocent, but its just plain the truth. i was really hoping you stopped it from happening. because i know i couldnt.
anyways, the damaged is too bad now to turn back time. take this as a lesson learnt, and live life to the fullest. love to the fullest but also protect yourself. I'll be watching. and perhaps when you've absorbed the world around you? and if feelings are somehow still there? MAYBE, just maybe. if the stars are aligned and it was meant to be?
You'll never know.
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| | Posted 5/19/2009 3:31 PM - 85 Views - 2 eProps - 1 Comment
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