aldatan's Xanga

Saturday, August 22, 2009

Sat, 22 Aug 2009 11:14:51 GMT

sorry blog, i forgot i had you, i'll be back

A Car Crash @ Rockaway.

Wed, 24 Jun 2009 03:33:29 GMT

Follow the sound, and listen to your soul

Sun, 14 Jun 2009 13:33:35 GMT

Got alil surprise for the souls who got an ear for the sounds of the "hearts". all you have to do is find the audio in my personal domain.

Rags > Riches > Rags > Riches . . . . .

Mon, 25 May 2009 06:29:12 GMT

I made a Rich List, No not a list of all my rich friends to whom i would like to target to scum and leech off!
but instead a list of friends and family of whom i would want to help out in whatever seem fit to make their lifes alil more easier.

IF your on my list, you would know. i've got 6 on my list already.

my intention of having this list is to remind oneself of the good deeds that i have received by these people and to give back. a sort of pay it forward or RAOK(random act of kindness).

also, in hopes that perhaps when i do eventually turn my rags into riches? i have to follow the list or spend my entire life in guilt having promised something to people and not following thru.

NOte: i hope that made sense, im feeling abit "high" not because of substances or alcohol. but because of lack of sleep....however, what i stated above is true....

will perhaps blog in full how you can create your own rich list..

Random

Sun, 24 May 2009 23:20:36 GMT

If i was a dollar? would you spend me or save me?

In grave this to your heart

Tue, 19 May 2009 18:31:14 GMT

no matter how i try to explain to you, WHY we cannot be, nothing seems to allow you to see, what i'm trying to do.We just want different things in life, and i hold on to my pass fears alil too much to take that risk with you. selfish, but once bitten twice shy. furthermore, your actions never consoled those fears, and i never mentioned it because i do not want to rob you of your youth if u so decided to work it my way. the so very mistake i made the first time around.

Would it be fair to say that i have more time to lose then you do? i want stability, but im a magnet for disaster. if perhaps you allow me 1 hour of your time, to explain to you in detail my fears, my wants and my life, perhaps in hope with an open mind and for ONCE believe me when i say, that i know better on this. i do hope u will then understand why we cannot be.

you can tell alot about a person by who they are friends with, and how their friends behave. im not dissing your friends, but they are are working towards is not what i would like to be caught in. look at my closest friends? how i wish i had that for my own. i was always the young kid with the overly matured thinking (but acting like a child mostly) but always on their wavelenght, that has always set me apart from my peers.

but im crushed that im no where close where i want to be.

you will pull thru, it hurts like mad now because u never gave your heart away before. but believe you me, that u will learn and get over it. and perhaps in future you will eventually understand why this cannot happen. cliche, but sometimes the cliches are the truth.

it doesnt excuse me from being an ass or a bastard. but i've told you many times, repeatedly how im not strong enough to stop whatever i've done, its not an excuse, nor is it to make my sound innocent, but its just plain the truth. i was really hoping you stopped it from happening. because i know i couldnt.

anyways, the damaged is too bad now to turn back time. take this as a lesson learnt, and live life to the fullest. love to the fullest but also protect yourself. I'll be watching. and perhaps when you've absorbed the world around you? and if feelings are somehow still there? MAYBE, just maybe. if the stars are aligned and it was meant to be?

You'll never know.

I've lost that love and feeling...woo oh oh

Sun, 17 May 2009 21:07:39 GMT

something isnt right, nothing makes me happy anymore, if you knew what i have going? you would be wondering whats up. SOMETHING isnt the same, SOMETHING is killing me, slowly.

I want to just throw everything away, and just disappear. to somewhere that nobody has expectations on me, there i can just be my stupid self and just listen and make a beautiful sound that nobody will judge me upon.

Music, why have you abandoned my soul...passion? where art you now?logic? have you beseeched me?

drama, all i have is drama.

haiyo apalah!

Fri, 08 May 2009 03:53:04 GMT

I was having a sms conversation with my dad about a future plan, when suddenly i remembered it was mother's day this weekend and then told him that we should have dinner for mum, his reply was

"u belanja? me got no $£€¥RM"

classic.....message received dad....haiyo...apalah...

baby steps

Mon, 27 Apr 2009 17:42:36 GMT

I suddenly find it alil hard to breathe.

25th april 2009, 4.46am

how much is a life worth?
if you were to be held ransom,
not to be left for dead by captivity,
but by being imprisoned by your emotions.

To deny and betray your very being,
turn a blind ear, have a deaf eye.
backwards, forwards,
Being incomplete in a society so sweet.

Society oh society, you are my world.
a world i once loved,

but i was always a social outcast,
A rebel who would never conform,
a punk ass boy, wearing the weight of society,
an anti hero turned zero.

and so the world ended at 4.46am.

you were everything to me,
but i could never conform.

Im sorry society,
Perhaps you'll live on,
to find inhabitants more worthy to your cause.

Im Sorry society,
perhaps i'll live on,
in your heart and history books,

Im sorry society,
perhaps this was not meant to be,
at the turn of a new century,
we would make love and be free.

hey you?

Mon, 20 Apr 2009 06:48:43 GMT

here's to the moonlight,
wishing you're doing okay,
perhaps someday,
we'll know why is this right.